Category Archives: Media

The “Soda Ban” in NYC: What it Really Means

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Moxie is Maine’s official soft drink, which I met this past May in a very funny way. Click on the pic for the story.

In case you didn’t catch it in the news, New York City’s so-called “soda ban” was recently approved by the NYC Board of Health. Of course, every time government legislates to protect and promote the public health and prevent disease costly to both individuals and society, it meets with outcry as opinions flare as to what role government should play in our lives where individual choices are concerned.

As someone trained in health promotion, disease prevention, and nutrition, I certainly have my own views on this matter that occasionally surface here or on my Facebook fan page. (Please like the page if you haven’t already.) That said, I don’t usually get into such matters on my blog, as it’s not really my gig in this forum. My classes, absolutely, but I don’t find the digital environment a good one for meaningful debate on complex topics: sociopolitical views color all aspects of life, not just what we eat, and I’ve no desire to be a pundit. Besides, this blog is directed towards individuals: when all is said and done, you are the one ultimately responsible for what you choose to eat.

Forget Politics: How Informed Are Your Opinions?

At any rate, I do use my blog for educational purposes directed both towards my students as well as the broader public, obviously. In fact, whether implied or explicit, my writing is almost always focused on teaching. I often try to do so by example in what I cook and eat rather than blatant nutrition education, which is less fun, frankly, and not as tasty. I also sometimes haul out broader pieces focused on science itself as my diet and general decision making are evidence-based. Therefore, regardless of your political proclivities, it’s critical to equip yourselves with accurate facts and up-to-date research. I’m assisted to that end today by a great video by Casey Neistat that sheds some light on the “ban.”

I found this video helpful in clarifying just what this law is and and isn’t. Did you?

Empower Your Thinking With Education

So what’s my point here? Two points, really. First, just to pass along an interesting clip that provides information on something you might not have fully gotten the details about: this often happens in a media environment filled with sensation and sound bites. To me, this was a good opportunity to do so by contrasting the words “ban” that filled many of the headlines with what the law actually says. And second, to challenge you to ask yourself what you really know about something before deciding what it does and does not mean, as this is a critical step in navigating today’s landscape replete with opinions that are can range from ill-informed to blatant anti-science.

I won’t tell you what to believe, but I do hope the information I provide will enlighten your thinking as you make choices in your own life. Oh, and speaking of soda, here’s a funny post on Moxie, Maine’s official soft drink that you should read if you haven’t seen it yet. (It’s actually one of my favorite all-time posts.) I also recommend reading Casey’s op ed that accompanied the video, which provides additional information on the new law.

Will I tell you what I think? Sure, if it’s based on the science, as that’s part my blog’s mission. (Look for upcoming posts on GMOs and local eating to help clarify these thorny issues, too.) You can still reach your own conclusions–it’s a free country–but as an educator it is my hope to shed some scientific light on issues to help you better integrate such knowledge into your lives and daily (food) choices.

You can take the professor out of the university, after all, but you can’t take the university out of the professor.

P.K. NewbyDr. P. K. Newby is a nutrition scientist and educator with expertise in the prevention of obesity and chronic diseases through diet and the relations between agriculture, food production, and public health. She brings together her passions for food, cooking, science, and sustainability through her writing and videos to help people eat their way towards better health, one delectable bite at a time. If you like what you see here at The Nutrition Doctor is In the Kitchen, please subscribe to my blog from the home page, become a fan on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my food porn on Pinterest, watch my videos on YouTube, and peruse my recipe page for soups, salads, seafood, sweets, and more. Thank you for reading!

A Century of Child and the Future of Food (TV)

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Know Who Julia Child Is?

Today I’m joining the millions of people celebrating Julia Child’s 100th birthday this month. If you’re not a food geek like me and some of my readers and/or don’t live in the US, you might not know that Julia Child is one of America’s beloved – and first – food television stars. She brought French cooking to the masses through her cooking show The French Chef, which aired on PBS in 1963. She would have been 100 years old on August 15, 2012, and the network is celebrating the occasion by replaying her shows and, yes, even a video mash-up. It’s perfect for foodies who rock (and, er, rockers who love food, I suppose).

Postscript: Food (TV) in a Post-Modern World

I actually met Julia Child a decade or so ago at the Harvard School of Public Health Nutrition Roundtable, a group that meets in Boston to support the department’s work. This is the same set of individuals that hosted the Healthy Cup award for Jamie Oliver back in May, by the way. (More about that here, including another cool video about some of the research that happens at the school and the story of where Jamie now somewhat famously stated that “soda needs a good spank.”) Anyway, my point is that it makes me sigh thinking that it’s been more than 5 years since wanting to pursue this next stage of my career focused on my passion and desire to translate research beyond the university through nutrition communication. I’ve finally gotten my writing happening (phase 1) and tremendously enjoy writing on my blog – and thank you all so much for reading!!!! Now, Julia’s upcoming birthday is just the kick in the pants I need to reach out to television producers RFN ASAP.

The simple fact is that a lot has changed in the century since Julia’s birth and the world needs to approach food, nutrition, and cooking in a new way. Indeed, it’s an absolutely necessity if we are to save ourselves from dying early deaths from chronic diseases like heart disease and diabetes, our children from living a shorter life than the current generation has enjoyed due to the rise of childhood obesity, and our planet from the ravages of producing often unhealthy food in unsustainable ways.

Do you agree?

Now, of course such a show must be wildly entertaining and filled with actual scientific knowledge presented in an accessible way that translates to fabulous food that people want to eat. But if it were the right food, hosted by the right person…

Sound like someone you know?

–

PS.  I am chagrined to admit that t wasn’t until about 5 minutes after reading the article on NPRs food blog that I said to myself “Oh… sweet CHILD of mine … Right, I get it.” I mean, it was before I watched the video and all, but still.

It’s been a long week.

P.K. NewbyDr. P. K. Newby is a nutrition scientist and educator with expertise in the prevention of obesity and chronic diseases through diet and the relations between agriculture, food production, and public health. She brings together her passions for food, cooking, science, and sustainability through her writing and videos to help people eat their way towards better health, one delectable bite at a time. If you like what you see here at The Nutrition Doctor is In the Kitchen, please subscribe to my blog from the home page, become a fan on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my food porn on Pinterest, watch my cooking videos on YouTube, and peruse my recipe page for soups, salads, seafood, sweets, and more. Thanks for reading!

A Healthy Cup and Plate, Sound Science, and a Spank for Soda

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I love this photo of Jamie in front of Harvard’s flag – Veritas – because that dude tells it like it is, and it’s awesome.

The Healthy Cup Goes to The Naked Chef

Know who Jamie Oliver is? The Naked Chef is a rock star in the culinary world, a chef with programs in Britain and the US dedicated to changing the food system and fighting childhood obesity, one school at a time. Thus he’s a rock star in the nutrition and public health worlds, too, which is why he received the Department of Nutriton‘s Healthy Cup award at Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) last week. Humble and hilarious, inspired and impassioned, hearing Jamie speak about food and children’s health and his inaugural Food Revolution Day on Saturday, May 19 was an honor and pleasure. (Extreme back pain notwithstanding.)

Got Science?

An unexpected treat was seeing HSPH’s new video highlighting the important work the department and school are doing in researching diet and disease associations such as obesity, diabetes, stroke, cancer, heart disease, and hypertension, among others. The video takes a look at current nutrition science and food policy – with a bit of satire, no less – and also has a scene comparing Harvard’s Healthy Eating Plate with USDA’s MyPlate, discussed in detail here on my blog. The six or so minutes are worth watching.

A Healthy Plate (and Fork) in Practice

Another terrific thing about the Department of Nutrition and HSPH is they practice what they preach when it comes to healthy eating, something I enjoyed and took for granted while I was there. Regular readers know I’m a foodie as well as a nutrition scientist, so in my world there’s a time and place for yummy, chocolatey, buttercreamy treats on special occasions. (Just search my blog.) That said, one of my biggest pet peeves is going to health- and nutrition-related conferences and academic meetings where unhealthy food abounds. Conferences can be a veritable recipe for weight gain, with their constant cookie-laden coffee breaks. I’ve also been to meetings where soda is the only choice of beverage. With styrofoam cups. Seriously? Come on.

(I’d digress further into the lack of recycling and other uncool practices at some of these places, but I feel my blood pressure beginning to rise so I’d better settle down.)

Need proof? Here’s the Healthy Cup reception menu: red quinoa salad with oranges and balsamic vinaigrette; chiogga beet salad with sheep’s milk cheese and watercress; fall wheat berries with dried cranberries, walnut oil, and green onions; and veggie boats and toasted whole wheat pita with four dipping sauces (roasted red pepper hummus, white bean and pesto dip, olive tapenade, and edamame dip). Beverages included two brilliantly hued naturally flavored waters, cucumber-mint and cantaloupe. You know I hate to eat and tweet in public, so I could only snap three photos without holding up the buffet line. (More than I already did, that is.)

Cucumber-Mint Water: Oh-so-pretty and unbelievably delicious, it’s the first time I’ve ever had it. Seriously, ditch the soda and other sugar-sweetened beverages. In Jamie Oliver’s own words: “I still think soda needs a good spank.” Well said, Jamie. Well said.

Colorful Veggie Boats. Remember, the greater the variety and more brightly colored your, er, boat, the healthier you’ll be; the devil’s in the dietary details. And veggie-based dips are fabulous accompaniments, like guacamole and salsa verde (roasted tomatillo salsa).

Environmentally Friendly Plates and Forks. Yeah, I know, food porn not so much but the point is both the serving dish and utensil are compostable (And pretty darn spiffy, too!).

That’s all, folks! Just a little healthy food and beverage inspiration as we start the summer. I will also humbly remind you again to look to the right places for dietary advice: learn to distinguish science-from anti-science then use science to win; the latter is an even more appropriate post now that we’re in baseball season. I’m so excited to cook delectable and healthy dishes with you as the seasonal produce arrives here in New England! In the meantime, ditch the soda, eat more colorful veggies, and if you must use disposable serving vessels and implements on your excursions, keep an eye towards the environment and remember, as always, that nutrition’s more than just about you.

P.K. NewbyDr. P. K. Newby is a nutrition scientist and educator with expertise in the prevention of obesity and chronic diseases through diet and the relations between agriculture, food production, and public health. She brings together her passions for food, cooking, science, and sustainability through her writing and videos to help people eat their way towards better health, one delectable bite at a time. If you like what you see here at The Nutrition Doctor is In the Kitchen, please subscribe to my blog from the home page, become a fan on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my food porn on Pinterest, watch my cooking videos on YouTube, and peruse my recipe page for soups, salads, seafood, sweets, and more. Thanks for reading!

Moxie, Maine, and Me: A Wicked Short Story

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Moxie Confusion

This past weekend I took a quick jaunt up the coast to Portland, Maine. While a great foodie town and all-around wonderful place to visit for lobster and beyond, the reason for my trip was for a book signing, not dining. The event was in Lisbon Falls and celebrated Jim Baumer’s Moxie: Maine in a Bottle.

I’m always happy to visit Maine, as I’ve spent many a summer there on family camping trips (Two adults, four kids, and a canine in a pop-up camper; I’ll let you fill in the rest.) Nowadays I head up on the Amtrak Downeaster for good food, family, friends, and fun; Maine hip-hop is often involved.

I’m sure you all know what moxie means, right? Well, in case you don’t, I personally enjoy the brief description here. I feel like the only people I’ve really ever heard use the word are Mainers, in such statements as “He’s got moxie!” My strongest association with the word, in fact, is when I was given a Moxie girlz doll (right) by my great aunt upon finishing my doctorate. (In jest. I don’t still play with dolls.)

It may therefore be understandable to some, if not most, that I had absolutely no idea Moxie was the name of Maine’s official soft drink. I got the metaphor in Jim’s subtitle - Maine in a Bottle - but missed entirely the literal meaning. This gave me considerable amusement upon arriving at a small country store that was almost entirely orange and featured quite the panoply of Moxie products, including the beloved beverage as well as t-shirts, baseball caps, ice cream, bumper stickers, and beyond. I was fairly shocked given I don’t recall ever seeing this product and I’ve been to Maine dozens of times. Okay, then, the book is about the state of mind and the soda itself. Sure. Now I get it.

Here’s a brief recap to give you a better sense of the scene.

Meeting Moxie

The setting. PKN enters a very, very orange store, surrounded by the Moxie Man logo (right), looks stunned, feels like a moron. Clearly out of the loop.

Think: you’ve just entered Willy Wonka’s factory and had no idea he made chocolate.

PKN (to shopkeeper behind ice cream counter): “Hi! Wow. I had no idea Moxie was a real thing.”

(Why would I possibly ever say that?)

Shopkeeper: “Do you drink soda?”

PKN: “Umm…no, not really…”

[Why are you even still talking?]

[Tries quickly to recover.] “I mean, unless it’s mixed with bourbon, or something…”

[Attempt unsuccessful; the shopkeeper appears unamused. Crap - is this a dry town?]

“But I’m happy to try some. I’d LOVE to try some!”

[Obvious overcompensation.]

“What does it taste like?”

Shopkeeper: “Well, the first taste is terrible, and you’ll want to spit it out. The second is a bit better. And by the third, you’ll realize why we consider it the fine wine of soda. Now, take a sip, let it roll around your mouth a bit…”

[Well, with an advertisement like that, I can't wait!]

PKN takes sip. Projectile vomits.

***

I’m kidding! Back to the true story.

***

PKN takes sip: “Oh, okay… it’s kind of like root beer.”

Shopkeeper: “Would you like to taste the ice cream?”

PKN: “Sure.” (tastes ice cream) “Anyone ever drink Moxie ice cream floats?”

Shopkeeper, laughing. [I am now being mocked, and deservedly so.]: ”I’ve made millions of ‘em. There’s a line down the street every year during the Moxie parade.”

[There's a friggin' parade?]

PKN: (laughs) “Oh, sure. Right…”

[Slinks away, humiliated.]

Moxie Postscript

Oh, and this is why I don’t normally drink soda, by the way.

Unless used a mixer, as I mentioned, although that’s very rare as you may infer given my penchant for creative cocktails like pomegranate martinis, blackberry margaritas, and strawberry-bourbon lemonade. That said, there is a time and place and, both humbled and inspired by my Maine Moxie trip, I brought a can back to Boston for a so-called Country Girl (bourbon+Moxie). It would make the perfect ending to my trip, obviously, and I was looking forward to a little moxology of my own.

Got home, unpacked, went for a run, showered, filled my glass with ice … and then remembered that I was out of bourbon.

The solitary can of Moxie thus remains in my fridge, leading to what I believe to be silent mockery by the Moxie Man every time I open the door.

And my continuous humming – to the tune of “Macho Man” – “Moxie, moxie, man … I-want-to-be…. a moxie man.”

Cool ad. Great message. For the concept, that is, not the soda. Just so we’re clear.

P.K. NewbyDr. P. K. Newby is a nutrition scientist and educator with expertise in the prevention of obesity and chronic diseases through diet and the relations between agriculture, food production, and public health. She brings together her passions for food, cooking, science, and sustainability through her writing and videos to help people eat their way towards better health, one delectable bite at a time. If you like what you see here at The Nutrition Doctor is In the Kitchen, please subscribe to my blog from the home page, become a fan on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my food porn on Pinterest, watch my cooking videos on YouTube, and peruse my recipe page for soups, salads, seafood, sweets, and more. Thanks for reading!

Do You Hear the People Eat?

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(sung to the tune of “Do You Hear the People Sing?” in Les Misérables)

It’s been quite some time since I made a theater reference, and this one immediately sprung to mind in light of the upcoming Food Revolution Day on Saturday, May 19.  It’s sort of like the 1832 revolution in France, only people shake wooden spoons instead of weapons and yell “Make Food, Not War!”

Or something.

Anyhow, courtesy of Jamie Oliver, the day is designed to “inspire change in people’s food habits and to promote the mission for better food and education for everyone.” Do we need a food revolution? Check out his video below and let me know what you think.

Postscript: About this post’s title (aka, getting my musical theater geek on)

I have theater on my mind, as my company’s production of Jason Robert Brown’s Songs for a New World plays May 4-12. So please forgive the not-very-funny Les Mis quip; it’s among my favorite musicals and I couldn’t resist. And I’ve quoted that very same song before in a post on local food in London, where I (almost) saw Alfie Boe in the West End production. However, according to the sign posted in the lobby, he was “indisposed” at the time. Now, that’s another story altogether, but it begins with “the indisposition of Alfie Boe” – sung in my head to the tune of the overture to Sweeney Todd – and ends with me falling down the stairs. Other than that, it was a stellar production that blessedly did not include Nick Jonas. I’m still bitter we cannot get the rights to produce the show for our upcoming 15th season next year.

All that said, no one wants to hear people eat. Gross.

P.K. NewbyDr. P. K. Newby is a nutrition scientist and educator with expertise in the prevention of obesity and chronic diseases through diet and the relations between agriculture, food production, and public health. She brings together her passions for food, cooking, science, and sustainability through her writing and videos to help people eat their way towards better health, one delectable bite at a time. If you like what you see here at The Nutrition Doctor is In the Kitchen, please subscribe to my blog from the home page, become a fan on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my food porn on Pinterest, watch my cooking videos on YouTube, and peruse my recipe page for soups, salads, seafood, sweets, and more. Thanks for reading!

Food+Art+Music+Comedy=Awesome

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What a Foodie Does for Love of Art and Science

Do you know how many cold dinners I’ve served in my quest to get great photos for my blog? Or how much of a complete douche idiot I feel like for pulling out my camera in a restaurant? But good food porn photography takes time and patience, people, it doesn’t happen on its own. You do it, do what it takes.

Whether you enjoy taking food photos yourself, mock such people relentlessly (or, er, your wife) for their poor restaurant manners, or just have a wicked sense of humor, watch this video. Watch it NOW. Because when food porn photography meets retro rap, it’s nothing less than legen – wait for it – dary.

Thank you, American Hipster, for turning an otherwise mundane Thursday into day Awesome. It’s not often my passions for food, music, theatre, and comedy come together so brilliantly. Now, if I could just bring in the science and cooking pieces… hmmm… I do know a bunch of rappers…

Challenge accepted.

On Language

Apologies if my colorful language today has offended you. This particular post veers a bit from my otherwise-utterly-professional personae that is my usual voice on this blog. (Well, mostly professional. Kind of professional. Let’s not split hairs, shall we?) But I know enough of my readers will appreciate this video such that I truly couldn’t resist. If today’s post pushes your limits and sensibilities, stay with me, I humbly request. I’ll soon return to squash soup.

Minus the rap.

Minus the awesome.

See now why I needed to post this?

P.K. NewbyDr. P. K. Newby is a nutrition scientist and educator with expertise in the prevention of obesity and chronic diseases through diet and the relations between agriculture, food production, and public health. She brings together her passions for food, cooking, science, and sustainability through her writing and videos to help people eat their way towards better health, one delectable bite at a time. If you like what you see here at The Nutrition Doctor is In the Kitchen, please subscribe to my blog from the home page, become a fan on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, check out my food porn on Pinterest, watch my cooking videos on YouTube, and peruse my recipe page for soups, salads, seafood, sweets, and more. Thanks for reading!

Seeking Dietary Advice, Part II: Use Science, and Win (Baseball Included)

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This week I’m continuing to write about topics related to diet and weight loss.  So far I’ve covered recalibrating your diet, measuring what you’re eating, and expunging tempting treats from your house.  Yesterday’s post encouraged you to look to science when seeking dietary advice and provided helpful tips for distinguishing science from anti-science.

And now (said in that dramatic voice heard only in television and movie previews), the exciting conclusion of this two-part series highlighting the extraordinary role science plays in our lives, inspired by my recent viewing of the movie Moneyball.

Show Me the Science! (Even in Sport)

Despite my own fitness-related activities and goals and my deep appreciation for outstanding athleticism, I’m not a huge sports spectator. (Upcoming SuperBowl and other major sporting events notwithstanding.)  I do, however enjoy a good sports movie. You know, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat – that kind of thing.  Indeed, sports movies often make for compelling drama and high entertainment. (Or, in the case of the movie I’m purposefully misquoting above, Jerry Maguire, high melodrama and moderate entertainment.)

Sabermetrics might be considered a scientific revolution of sorts, since it changed the way in which baseball performance was assessed. Kuhn's seminal book is a must-read for those interested in the topic (of the history of science, not baseball).

Moneyball was written by Michael Lewis in 2003 and made into an Aaron Sorkin movie in 2011. The story follows how Billy Beane, General Manager of the Oakland Athletics, hires an economist to help him create a winning team using sabermetrics, the analysis of objective, empirical evidence to measure performance in baseball. Beane received fierce opposition when trying to apply these more rigorous scientific methods, as scouts had traditionally employed a smaller set of sexier stats alongside emotion and intuition to hire ballplayers.  They also used a goodly amount of utterly superficial parameters, according to the movie, such as looks … of the player’s girlfriend.  (Whether this reflects truth or fiction I do not know but my guess is the former as it resonates all too well with our world fixated on the physical.) Juxtaposing these two contrasting methods of creating a winning ball club and the personalities of the proponents on each side was the essence of the movie, alongside a few other interesting themes. Incidentally, the film is a fairly accurate account of what happens when a new paradigm challenges an older way of thinking, which in extreme cases can lead to a scientific revolution that irrevocably alters the way we view the world.  Even, in some cases, the game of baseball.

The movie’s denouement occurs when the 2002 Oakland A’s win their 20th game in a row - the longest winning streak in the American League - beating the record of 19 held by the 1947 New York Yankees.  One of the team’s underdog players, Scott Hatteberg, scored the winning home run in an incredibly tense game, leading to nothing short of unadulterated joy. Often moved by such scenes, I felt my eyes well with emotion.

I turned to my husband and exclaimed in all earnestness, tears streaming down my face, ”Science hit a home run!”

We then hugged and gave each other a science (high) five.

True story.

Use Science, and Win

My sense is that most people would have gleefully shouted ”They won! They won!” at that particular point in the movie, gushing on and on about the players and so forth. That’s all very nice and good, I agree, and it is always gratifying to see a struggling team make a major comeback and win – especially in such spectacular fashion.

I am more enamored with science than baseball, however. (Obviously.)  Wherever passions lie, I hope the viewer or reader of Moneyball is equally impressed with the starring role that science played in that triumphant victory, forever changing America’s favorite pastime.  Though not as palpable as the players’ hard work and sweat on the field or as raucous as the boisterous cheers celebrating this amazing feat of sport, it was the quieter sounds of science and its application to the ballgame that created the favorable conditions and allowed the team to succeed.  The message is loud and clear: Use science, and win.

So it is, too, with food.  Whether we are aware or not, whether it impacts our food choices or not, there is a science there – nutrition – that shows what we eat matters.  I adore science and cooking, and to that end I strive to bring you the best nutrition knowledge we have to your plates in delicious ways that create the winning conditions you need for health.  There are other legitimate sources out there as well, just remember the NIH’s suggestions and my own tips for separating science from anti-science, fact from fiction. Do not fall prey to the theatrics and polemics of how science is often presented by the media and others.  And ask yourself who’s the person behind the curtain – or onstage, for that matter – before spending your time and money on the latest fad diet or vitamin du jour. Use science, and win.

Now, who’s with me for a science high five!?!?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

—

* Note: A science high five is different from the science of a high five, discussed here.  This awesome internet high five image can be found here.

Those Nefarious Nutrition Scientists are at it Again!

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If only I had I a picture of me in a lab coat poring over test tubes and looking evil, like Dr. Horrible, or a photo of my lavish office! Well, I don’t have a recent picture of me in a lab coat, and to get a better feel for my office you can watch The Daily Show video below.

Where am I going with all this, you ask?  I’ll elaborate on Monday, as my class prepares for a discussion of In Defense of Food written by popular food writer Michael Pollan. To get the conversation started, please check out my mission and watch the following entertaining video clips from recent showings of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

I find these clips rather thought provoking, especially when juxtaposed as I’ve done here. (Jon Stewart’s satire is, as always, spot on.) They’re also a great place to launch a discussion exploring the treatment of nutrition science in the media and popular press. It’s not a topic that will take over my blog, don’t worry – I love talking about food, cooking, science, and health way too much to get constantly distracted by bloviators in the media and debunk every diet myth out there. There’s not enough time in the world for all of that! (Until I get paid to do so, at least.) That said, this is an important issue: the voice of science is often drowned out by fiction, fear, anecdote, and misinformation, so occasionally I’ll weigh in on some issue or another to help you bring sound science to your plate.

I look forward to pursuing this discussion with you and my students next week and beyond. In the meantime, I have to get back to the lab to figure out how to make the world fatter, more diseased, more miserable, and then die. Mwahahaha!

(Dr. Horrible? No? Part 1 is below.)